dilemma in the unreality

[--- overdue post: October 9, 2008]

02-04-1992 copyright Dilbert.com

Guess what happened to me this morning?

I dreamt that I got terminated from my job because I was 1 hour late for work. Haha! And guess what? It took several replays of the dream until I woke up and realized that it was not true...

Good thing...

Cause I was about to cry? hmmmnnn... a bit... ummm... maybe..

But in my dream, I was already calling my mom telling her that I'm 1 hour late for work and I got terminated..

*whew*

AND! I was so soo sooooo early at work today. I arrived about an hour and so earlier.. haha!

...sometimes it's really good to wake up in reality...

dilemma

[overdue post --- October 8, 2008]

09 -21-2008 copyright Dilbert.com

My head is aching.

Last week I was about to lose a loved-one. But right now, I'm facing a new dilemma..

A dilemma where there is no turning back and no work-around about it.

I was friggin late today. I thought I could still make it on time though but unfortunately I did not.

And the hell.. my company doesn't give any lee-way to any tardiness and absences even though for at least 3 minutes or excused absences (like when you called-in sick and you have the necessary document to prove that you are sick)..

A thought of resignation came to my mind but the heck I can't because I'll be paying the bond stated in the contract for Php 100,000. Haha! Where the heck can I get that friggin' amount?! (T T)

Anyway, I'm a bit scared that I'd be terminated. I'm still in my probie period. December would be my endpoint. That's my regularization month. I don't know how I'll be able to make up to this. But anyway, I'll still try to get high scores though. But don't count on my sales. Probably I need to focus more on my job than salivating on the out-of-town getways Bok and his officemates are having... too bad I've become one of their crowd.. And too bad they have the job I would have wanted.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!

Why do I get to become the unlucky one? And be the mojo for the other?!

That's quite unfair, you know. I've been a goody little girl and why should it always be me who needs to be in these situati? *snnff* *snnff*

...I can actually sense the hostility in the office... I don't know. People are just too nosy of what's goin' on with my personal life that everytime somethings up with me (tardy, evident eyebags, and more) they tend to think "something malicious" about me.

Quite immature and unprofessional.

I'll just up for a few months and focus on my scorecard. I'll still have fun with Bok and the Dell guys. And get in the office to work and for work's sake.

...I'm still uncertain about my future here (if I do have one)...

I'll need to set aside my plans of getting a higher position for now. I need to survive here for a year so that things done after that would be legal and would not affect my employment in the future.. just in case.

Anyway... I just need to focus. Save enough money.

And...

...

... call my mom..