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Tuesday, May 04, 2010

BEING TWENTY-SOMETHING

This may not be the first time for you to read this. I have received this thru email while I was still working in Accenture.. I just feel like posting...


BEING TWENTY-SOMETHING

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion.....

GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF you guys!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Under the full moon

I think my step-dad is upset. And I guess my mom too (whom I didn't see when I got home)... For coming home late... Rather, early in the morning after spending the night at my boyfriend's house...

For, I guess, a very shallow reason (uh-uh! not an excuse) - because the moon is full. This definitely is not an excuse!

I never did plan to spend the night there, unfortunately, at about past midnight when my beau, his brother and I went outside to smoke, I noticed that beautiful ol' luna was shining ever so brightly in perfect shape in the night sky... But before that, my beau asked me to tell his brother about "the scary stuff" happening at my house - which reminded me of my mom saying that those mysterious things are likely to happen especially when the moon is full. So there, I thought to myself that I'm not gonna go home - not until it's morning.

I came home at almost 7 o' clock a.m. I found my step-dad having breakfast and my baby sister brushing her teeth. My youngest brother was still in bed, but it seemed that my mom and my other younger brother has already left.. Anyway, all I ever said to my step-dad after greeting him was -- "sorry for not able to text them that I won't be home in evening because mobile's out of load credits"..

After that, I went to my room. Then I heard my step-dad and my sister leave.. *sigh*

How I wish I could've explained that I never really intended to spend the night there.. It was just that I don't want to experience some wierd stuff happen again especially that it was full moon.. And how I wish I could just easily tell them that I even did not literally sleep there.. Because all I ever did was watch movies while my beau and his brother snoozed... *sigh* How I wish I was a better "communicator" (if there ever was a word).. We never had good communication not unless we talk about other things and kid around...

Both of know that he cares too much for me despite the fact that I'm not his real daughter. I care for him too but we just don't communicate well. Long story though. And we do have this weird relationship, but not the kind of weirdness that happens during full moon..

But for now, I'm saving the relationship thingy for later. I'm expecting a cold shoulder and a little bit of nagging from my mom.. Wish me luck though..

So! Speaking about my all-nighter movie marathon... It was great! We started with "500 Days of Summer", which I've already seen. Then my beau and his brother browsed on youtube some of their favorite 90's rock songs which led us to watch "Batch '81". It is an old local film showing how some college guys survived entering a fraternity. It's not something that you'd get awed with but I just got amused. (thinks: silly college guys)..

So my beau and his brother started dozing off that I ran into "10 Things I Hate About You".. So creepy of me, watching a teeny-bopper series at this age.. And even got a crush on one of the main characters...

Note: Before I had a very huge crush on Kurosaki Ichigo - the main character of "Bleach", a Japanese animation. And long before that, I also had this big crush on Josh Hartnett. I fell for him when I first saw him in the movie "The Faculty". And that was way back in high school. I guess there was George Clooney too... Ummm.. I haven't had sleep yet so I can't remember the rest..

Going back.. {dreamily:} ..My crush has this perfectly toned body which makes me wish I could rest my head on his chest or shoulders.. He has this untidy look.. His untidy hair makes him a lot more handsome... and those eyes.. look into those eyes and it's like he'll dig into your soul.. his voice, is sooo deep that could make me want to take off my clothes with one "hello" (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!)... and most of all! I love the character himself, is just so COOL... Oh! He's so gorgeous! :D

I know this is silly, but I even posted it in facebook. I do hope my beau's not gonna think I'm cheating on him... This is so wierd but it made me feel good. It felt like highschool or some part of college again. It made me smile and tingled my heart. It made me wanna kiss my beau. It made me want to spend a whole day kissing - if that's possible.. It's just good... So much for being somekinda cynical these days..

I ended up to episode 10 of season 1. There are still 5 more episodes to watch until the first season ends. I really could not wait to watch the rest of the series. I don't know if I'll be able to get some sleep at this rate.. (it's already 8:37 a.m.)...

I'm really not into some teenybopper stuff but lately, I just want to watch something light.. But not really shallow... :D

So maybe weird things really happen sometimes. And maybe these "sometimes" could coincidentally occur during the full moons... But I enjoyed it! :D And I hope you enjoy your evening as well especially when the moon is full!


isn't he gorgeous?! eeek!


Monday, January 04, 2010

My new year salvo

sunrise in cebu
"Unwritten"
by Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

ferris wheel

Round and round we go
in a merry-go-round
up and down
down and up
in this ferris wheel

then it stops
we get stuck

panic strikes
we then screamed
we then cried

we asked for help
then shut ourselves
in solitude

the engine then starts

so we go
round and round again
like in a merry-go-round
up and down
down and up
in this ferris wheel
hope it never stops

piece-up

Someone told me once that, "there's always a moment"...

yeah.. in every second of our lives, there is. A moment. A moment for everything.

A moment to love and say "i love you".

A moment to breathe.

A moment to think.

And all other moments to decide in every circumstances what to feel, say, and do, that would make you the "YOU".

My boyfriend always tells me that i don't know what i want, and is big reason why i'm heading nowhere. I call myself a dreamer, and literally i am. I always get lost in my dreams that they always end up just there in my thoughts. At most times, I need to get hit really really hard to get back to reality.. I don't know I'm getting to any point here but i am trying to.

I just noticed it though, in how i talk and how i write. I some kinda go in circles.. *sigh*

But anyway, I'm just glad that I took this moment out to brighten up this humble blog of mine with some little thoughts. Hoping this would serve as a little step of improvement of the changes i will do with my life.

Thanks to "my dad", I took the 15-minute walk from my flat to this cafe.

I just thought, i might help myself if i piece myself up even just by starting with this little post and reverting back to my old blog template..

This "moment" is quite a costly one. Hehe. If you could keep a secret for me, i did not go to work today.. Guess what? I'm desperate! hehe... I need to BREATHE..

CHEERS to all who live LIFE! (^^)/


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