Under the full moon

I think my step-dad is upset. And I guess my mom too (whom I didn't see when I got home)... For coming home late... Rather, early in the morning after spending the night at my boyfriend's house...

For, I guess, a very shallow reason (uh-uh! not an excuse) - because the moon is full. This definitely is not an excuse!

I never did plan to spend the night there, unfortunately, at about past midnight when my beau, his brother and I went outside to smoke, I noticed that beautiful ol' luna was shining ever so brightly in perfect shape in the night sky... But before that, my beau asked me to tell his brother about "the scary stuff" happening at my house - which reminded me of my mom saying that those mysterious things are likely to happen especially when the moon is full. So there, I thought to myself that I'm not gonna go home - not until it's morning.

I came home at almost 7 o' clock a.m. I found my step-dad having breakfast and my baby sister brushing her teeth. My youngest brother was still in bed, but it seemed that my mom and my other younger brother has already left.. Anyway, all I ever said to my step-dad after greeting him was -- "sorry for not able to text them that I won't be home in evening because mobile's out of load credits"..

After that, I went to my room. Then I heard my step-dad and my sister leave.. *sigh*

How I wish I could've explained that I never really intended to spend the night there.. It was just that I don't want to experience some wierd stuff happen again especially that it was full moon.. And how I wish I could just easily tell them that I even did not literally sleep there.. Because all I ever did was watch movies while my beau and his brother snoozed... *sigh* How I wish I was a better "communicator" (if there ever was a word).. We never had good communication not unless we talk about other things and kid around...

Both of know that he cares too much for me despite the fact that I'm not his real daughter. I care for him too but we just don't communicate well. Long story though. And we do have this weird relationship, but not the kind of weirdness that happens during full moon..

But for now, I'm saving the relationship thingy for later. I'm expecting a cold shoulder and a little bit of nagging from my mom.. Wish me luck though..

So! Speaking about my all-nighter movie marathon... It was great! We started with "500 Days of Summer", which I've already seen. Then my beau and his brother browsed on youtube some of their favorite 90's rock songs which led us to watch "Batch '81". It is an old local film showing how some college guys survived entering a fraternity. It's not something that you'd get awed with but I just got amused. (thinks: silly college guys)..

So my beau and his brother started dozing off that I ran into "10 Things I Hate About You".. So creepy of me, watching a teeny-bopper series at this age.. And even got a crush on one of the main characters...

Note: Before I had a very huge crush on Kurosaki Ichigo - the main character of "Bleach", a Japanese animation. And long before that, I also had this big crush on Josh Hartnett. I fell for him when I first saw him in the movie "The Faculty". And that was way back in high school. I guess there was George Clooney too... Ummm.. I haven't had sleep yet so I can't remember the rest..

Going back.. {dreamily:} ..My crush has this perfectly toned body which makes me wish I could rest my head on his chest or shoulders.. He has this untidy look.. His untidy hair makes him a lot more handsome... and those eyes.. look into those eyes and it's like he'll dig into your soul.. his voice, is sooo deep that could make me want to take off my clothes with one "hello" (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!)... and most of all! I love the character himself, is just so COOL... Oh! He's so gorgeous! :D

I know this is silly, but I even posted it in facebook. I do hope my beau's not gonna think I'm cheating on him... This is so wierd but it made me feel good. It felt like highschool or some part of college again. It made me smile and tingled my heart. It made me wanna kiss my beau. It made me want to spend a whole day kissing - if that's possible.. It's just good... So much for being somekinda cynical these days..

I ended up to episode 10 of season 1. There are still 5 more episodes to watch until the first season ends. I really could not wait to watch the rest of the series. I don't know if I'll be able to get some sleep at this rate.. (it's already 8:37 a.m.)...

I'm really not into some teenybopper stuff but lately, I just want to watch something light.. But not really shallow... :D

So maybe weird things really happen sometimes. And maybe these "sometimes" could coincidentally occur during the full moons... But I enjoyed it! :D And I hope you enjoy your evening as well especially when the moon is full!

isn't he gorgeous?! eeek!

My new year salvo

sunrise in cebu

"Unwritten"
by Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

ferris wheel

Round and round we go
in a merry-go-round
up and down
down and up
in this ferris wheel

then it stops
we get stuck

panic strikes
we then screamed
we then cried

we asked for help
then shut ourselves
in solitude

the engine then starts

so we go
round and round again
like in a merry-go-round
up and down
down and up
in this ferris wheel
hope it never stops

piece-up

Someone told me once that, "there's always a moment"...

yeah.. in every second of our lives, there is. A moment. A moment for everything.

A moment to love and say "i love you".

A moment to breathe.

A moment to think.

And all other moments to decide in every circumstances what to feel, say, and do, that would make you the "YOU".

My boyfriend always tells me that i don't know what i want, and is big reason why i'm heading nowhere. I call myself a dreamer, and literally i am. I always get lost in my dreams that they always end up just there in my thoughts. At most times, I need to get hit really really hard to get back to reality.. I don't know I'm getting to any point here but i am trying to.

I just noticed it though, in how i talk and how i write. I some kinda go in circles.. *sigh*

But anyway, I'm just glad that I took this moment out to brighten up this humble blog of mine with some little thoughts. Hoping this would serve as a little step of improvement of the changes i will do with my life.

Thanks to "my dad", I took the 15-minute walk from my flat to this cafe.

I just thought, i might help myself if i piece myself up even just by starting with this little post and reverting back to my old blog template..

This "moment" is quite a costly one. Hehe. If you could keep a secret for me, i did not go to work today.. Guess what? I'm desperate! hehe... I need to BREATHE..

CHEERS to all who live LIFE! (^^)/

Carry My Heart

about a week ago...


It's good to know that I'm still alive. Living... yeah... through all the shitty days that "just" comes up.. people who make my days shitty.. and those shitty things that i don't want to face or think about either... =D

Anyway, 2 weeks ago I moved to a new house somewhere in the suburbs of the city (i believe it is in the suburbia). (= I'm was hoping to make a home out of it's creepiness/eeriness.. However, the place really is cozy (not as what i expected it to be though) and makes me feel like in my old room in our house back in my hometown. The kind of place where my fingers would crave for pencils, pens and other art materials; where it's nice to read a book; where you can just listen to good music or watch t.v all day but the time still slip very very slowly; and the place where I long to be at after work...

So there, I've been watching movies.. A lot of movies, from my collection and a few new ones...

So I've watched this movie starred by Cameron Diaz and Toni Collete titled "In Her Shoes".. The movie was nice. But really I got captivated by this poem by E. E. Cummings which was read by Maggie (Diaz) in her sister Rosie's (Collete) wedding in the movie.

Really... I just want to share the poem.


However, it's really nice if someone can tell something like this to you with utmost sincerity, even if the world makes a monster out of you... Don't you think? I think I'd like that. =D

...here it is:


I Carry Your Heart
e.e cummings


i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it 
(anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)


i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you


here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart


i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

P.S. I watched the a Jap anime titled "Nodame Cantabile". It's about music stuff. I just don't want to explain it further though because this post is not about that. hehe.. You can just watch it yourself. Look it up at the nearest illegal dvd stores in your place.. hehe.. I'm sure you'll find it there. There's even a korean (i think it's korean) series of that.