whiten up

we were asked to go on coaching status again due to low call volume..

i kinda got a little information overload after reading tutorials online so i thought of viewing my blog again and again... read old posts.. and decided to hop from one blog to another...

i just realized though... that i have been so selfish and got so consumed of my "issues" (whatever. i know i'm still suffering) that i was not able to recognize the good things that have been happening to me.. i cannot say just for lately but i think a bit then..

i have analyzed that after reading posts from other blogs. on how they marvel on what life has given them, through ups and lows.. but more on the good times..

earlier, i have been browsing my blog. just reminiscing my not so distant past... and there was this dim inkling inside my head saying: "i need to grow up. i need to grow up! i have to grow up!"

i guess the root of my very discontented state is my failure to see how i am changing from day to day with all the troubles and lucks i have been experiencing, especially after i finally left the comfort of my home and settled on my own in the big city, to which i should be so joyful about.

just this week, a thought of wanting to heal myself popped-out of my delirious mind..

i do mean it. i want to get healed. i know it would still take time, but i am willing to wait.

i knew that from the very start, i have been refusing to accept the pain.. i did not give myself enough time to sulk, whine, scream (if i need to), about the pain the was caused..

time is ticking. and there's no more time for me to be like this. i don't want to bluff anymore. i need to be real. i need to start.. i badly needed to..

so, this thought of changing the appearance of my blog sprang. i need to lighten-up. i want to change.

i want to become better..

hopefully i'll become soon.. *winks*


p.s reminds me of what my mom told me. she said she saw her belly glowed yellow aura while still pregnant with me..