Friday, November 07, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
so, how am i?
Another work week has passed and again I am on day-off.
I'm juggling things in my mind: on what to do first and what and how to write my thoughts down..
So, I just came up with the question..
Yeah, how the hell am I?
Now, I know I am fine. I'm having quite the hang of adjusting and nipping my pride little by little. I feel loved, secured, and missed (by my family). A bit bored with my job but I'm not letting it get in my way though. I wouldn't want to lose another job for petty reasons again.
Anyway, last week was quite a busy week.
During payday, Bok and I went to the mall and shopped. He bought a load of stuff.. like a whole new wardrobe (just exaggerating, but it's quite like that). I bought a shirt and a cute pair of check loafers which Bok has chosen for me. I didn't really like the shoes at first though, but a lot of people find it nice. So there. But, trust me in this: don't ever shop when you're sleepless the night before and you still have to go to work in the afternoon.
Bok's officemates like to hang-out and go to some place and do stuff. So, I got quite sleepless last week. The activities for last week range from playing dota after their shift (that's 5 a.m.), so I wake up early; going to the gym and play badminton, we were supposed to go wall climbing but weren't able to; drinking and making me sing (hehehe..); and going to a comedy bar.
They're fun-loving people, as you can see. They're fun to be with. I like them because they don't treat me as "the girlfriend". But too bad I just really need to get some sleep.
And by the way, last week's r.d., I did some cleaning up. I sorted out my stuff and threw away things that don't need to be kept anymore. (I don't know if you get what I mean) And it made me feel a lot better.
But there is still one thing that needs to be done though. I had a fight with one of my officemates, a teammate, months ago. It supposedly was nothing serious but we ended up not talking to each other anymore. And I'm a bit tired of the situation. I can sense that he wants to make peace with me. But I'm quite a coward with this. Yeah, a chicken shit.
Please pray for me. I'd love to make peace with him. And make peace with myself at the same time.
But hey! I still say I am doing fine.
I'm still a work in progress but I am alive and I am kickin'. (^^)
I'm juggling things in my mind: on what to do first and what and how to write my thoughts down..
So, I just came up with the question..
Yeah, how the hell am I?
Now, I know I am fine. I'm having quite the hang of adjusting and nipping my pride little by little. I feel loved, secured, and missed (by my family). A bit bored with my job but I'm not letting it get in my way though. I wouldn't want to lose another job for petty reasons again.
Anyway, last week was quite a busy week.
During payday, Bok and I went to the mall and shopped. He bought a load of stuff.. like a whole new wardrobe (just exaggerating, but it's quite like that). I bought a shirt and a cute pair of check loafers which Bok has chosen for me. I didn't really like the shoes at first though, but a lot of people find it nice. So there. But, trust me in this: don't ever shop when you're sleepless the night before and you still have to go to work in the afternoon.
Bok's officemates like to hang-out and go to some place and do stuff. So, I got quite sleepless last week. The activities for last week range from playing dota after their shift (that's 5 a.m.), so I wake up early; going to the gym and play badminton, we were supposed to go wall climbing but weren't able to; drinking and making me sing (hehehe..); and going to a comedy bar.
They're fun-loving people, as you can see. They're fun to be with. I like them because they don't treat me as "the girlfriend". But too bad I just really need to get some sleep.
And by the way, last week's r.d., I did some cleaning up. I sorted out my stuff and threw away things that don't need to be kept anymore. (I don't know if you get what I mean) And it made me feel a lot better.
But there is still one thing that needs to be done though. I had a fight with one of my officemates, a teammate, months ago. It supposedly was nothing serious but we ended up not talking to each other anymore. And I'm a bit tired of the situation. I can sense that he wants to make peace with me. But I'm quite a coward with this. Yeah, a chicken shit.
Please pray for me. I'd love to make peace with him. And make peace with myself at the same time.
But hey! I still say I am doing fine.
I'm still a work in progress but I am alive and I am kickin'. (^^)
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
adventures in alcoy
finally i was able to go beach after a very long time.
and finally escaped from the lights of the city with my beau.
and finally escaped from the lights of the city with my beau.
Monday, October 13, 2008
done: anansi boys
Finally I finished reading this book. Sorry Anansi Boys fans but I didn't quite like the it. It actually took me months to finish reading the book. Imagine that!
Maybe I over-estimated it. I've been a fan of fictional books most especially thrillers since I started reading. But no, this book did not give me the excitement I always get whenever I read thrillers. Just as with Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code.
For me, the story is too predictable. I still haven't read half of the book and I can already sense where the story leads.
Anyway, John no offense. But thank you so much for lending me your book. It's been quite a while since I borrowed it from you. Don't worry I'm finally returning it. (^^)
..p.e.a.c.e..
Maybe I over-estimated it. I've been a fan of fictional books most especially thrillers since I started reading. But no, this book did not give me the excitement I always get whenever I read thrillers. Just as with Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code.
For me, the story is too predictable. I still haven't read half of the book and I can already sense where the story leads.
Anyway, John no offense. But thank you so much for lending me your book. It's been quite a while since I borrowed it from you. Don't worry I'm finally returning it. (^^)
..p.e.a.c.e..
dilemma in the unreality
[--- overdue post: October 9, 2008]
02-04-1992 copyright Dilbert.com
Guess what happened to me this morning?
I dreamt that I got terminated from my job because I was 1 hour late for work. Haha! And guess what? It took several replays of the dream until I woke up and realized that it was not true...
Good thing...
Cause I was about to cry? hmmmnnn... a bit... ummm... maybe..
But in my dream, I was already calling my mom telling her that I'm 1 hour late for work and I got terminated..
*whew*
AND! I was so soo sooooo early at work today. I arrived about an hour and so earlier.. haha!
...sometimes it's really good to wake up in reality...
Guess what happened to me this morning?
I dreamt that I got terminated from my job because I was 1 hour late for work. Haha! And guess what? It took several replays of the dream until I woke up and realized that it was not true...
Good thing...
Cause I was about to cry? hmmmnnn... a bit... ummm... maybe..
But in my dream, I was already calling my mom telling her that I'm 1 hour late for work and I got terminated..
*whew*
AND! I was so soo sooooo early at work today. I arrived about an hour and so earlier.. haha!
...sometimes it's really good to wake up in reality...
Saturday, October 11, 2008
dilemma
[overdue post --- October 8, 2008]
09 -21-2008 copyright Dilbert.com
My head is aching.
Last week I was about to lose a loved-one. But right now, I'm facing a new dilemma..
A dilemma where there is no turning back and no work-around about it.
I was friggin late today. I thought I could still make it on time though but unfortunately I did not.
And the hell.. my company doesn't give any lee-way to any tardiness and absences even though for at least 3 minutes or excused absences (like when you called-in sick and you have the necessary document to prove that you are sick)..
A thought of resignation came to my mind but the heck I can't because I'll be paying the bond stated in the contract for Php 100,000. Haha! Where the heck can I get that friggin' amount?! (T T)
Anyway, I'm a bit scared that I'd be terminated. I'm still in my probie period. December would be my endpoint. That's my regularization month. I don't know how I'll be able to make up to this. But anyway, I'll still try to get high scores though. But don't count on my sales. Probably I need to focus more on my job than salivating on the out-of-town getways Bok and his officemates are having... too bad I've become one of their crowd.. And too bad they have the job I would have wanted.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!
Why do I get to become the unlucky one? And be the mojo for the other?!
That's quite unfair, you know. I've been a goody little girl and why should it always be me who needs to be in these situati? *snnff* *snnff*
...I can actually sense the hostility in the office... I don't know. People are just too nosy of what's goin' on with my personal life that everytime somethings up with me (tardy, evident eyebags, and more) they tend to think "something malicious" about me.
Quite immature and unprofessional.
I'll just up for a few months and focus on my scorecard. I'll still have fun with Bok and the Dell guys. And get in the office to work and for work's sake.
...I'm still uncertain about my future here (if I do have one)...
I'll need to set aside my plans of getting a higher position for now. I need to survive here for a year so that things done after that would be legal and would not affect my employment in the future.. just in case.
Anyway... I just need to focus. Save enough money.
And...
...
... call my mom..
Last week I was about to lose a loved-one. But right now, I'm facing a new dilemma..
A dilemma where there is no turning back and no work-around about it.
I was friggin late today. I thought I could still make it on time though but unfortunately I did not.
And the hell.. my company doesn't give any lee-way to any tardiness and absences even though for at least 3 minutes or excused absences (like when you called-in sick and you have the necessary document to prove that you are sick)..
A thought of resignation came to my mind but the heck I can't because I'll be paying the bond stated in the contract for Php 100,000. Haha! Where the heck can I get that friggin' amount?! (T T)
Anyway, I'm a bit scared that I'd be terminated. I'm still in my probie period. December would be my endpoint. That's my regularization month. I don't know how I'll be able to make up to this. But anyway, I'll still try to get high scores though. But don't count on my sales. Probably I need to focus more on my job than salivating on the out-of-town getways Bok and his officemates are having... too bad I've become one of their crowd.. And too bad they have the job I would have wanted.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!
Why do I get to become the unlucky one? And be the mojo for the other?!
That's quite unfair, you know. I've been a goody little girl and why should it always be me who needs to be in these situati? *snnff* *snnff*
...I can actually sense the hostility in the office... I don't know. People are just too nosy of what's goin' on with my personal life that everytime somethings up with me (tardy, evident eyebags, and more) they tend to think "something malicious" about me.
Quite immature and unprofessional.
I'll just up for a few months and focus on my scorecard. I'll still have fun with Bok and the Dell guys. And get in the office to work and for work's sake.
...I'm still uncertain about my future here (if I do have one)...
I'll need to set aside my plans of getting a higher position for now. I need to survive here for a year so that things done after that would be legal and would not affect my employment in the future.. just in case.
Anyway... I just need to focus. Save enough money.
And...
...
... call my mom..
another boring episode: candymag
Another of those low-call-volume-days in the office.. And here I am again.. surfing through the web and got myself to answer these silly quizzes.. nyehehehe...
You're a reggae mistress! You love that distinct beat that gets you relaxed and energetic at the same time. You love the sand, the surf and laidback chic. Groove out with Bob Marley and the Wailers, Ziggy Marley, Black Uhuru and Jimmy Cliff.
You're a reggae mistress! You love that distinct beat that gets you relaxed and energetic at the same time. You love the sand, the surf and laidback chic. Groove out with Bob Marley and the Wailers, Ziggy Marley, Black Uhuru and Jimmy Cliff.
Michael Cera from Juno and Superbad. Whatever "the simple girl" is, you know you fall into that category, and you expect your boy to be low-maintenance too. If you're not afraid to look silly and you think geek is the new cool, Michael's your man. (Seth who?!)
The In Your Face Dude/Jack Black. You're a sucker for the king of class clowns! He’s totally hilarious and every moment you spend with him is just one big riot. He's willing to make fun of himself to get a laugh out of you—but it can be a pain to get him to switch to his serious side.Watch him in: Kung Fu Panda, Tropic Thunder.
Chick Flick/Romantic Comedy. As a child, you loved fairy tales and dreamed that your prince charming would find you one day. Now that you're older, you're crazy about modern-day fairy tales (a.k.a. chick flicks). You often wish your life could be exactly like your favorite movie. But remember that life isn't about the prince, happy endings, and falling in love. If you play your cards right, you'll get your very own happy ending.
A Little Mystery and Adventure. Anything that calls us to walk an unfamiliar path is an adventure, parachutes and snake-infested jungles are optional. If you feel like all your days have melted into a single day, same morning routine, same conversations, same regrets while you stare at the ceiling before you sleep, it's time to choose the life less ordinary. You don't need to travel far for an adventure, what's different and daring could be waiting around the corner in a class, restaurant, or hobby you've been too scared to try; or even closer, inside you, like the fears you've been holding on to: of being judged, rejected, or alone. It's usually things we don't know that frighten us, and the only way to face them is to find out what they're all about. As the great poet T.S. Eliot said, "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." The next time the thought of something scares you, take a deep breath and go for it!
Fear Factor. Chugging down a shake made from live house flies and blended maggots or free-falling from 200 meters above the ground -- most people find these gross and scary. But you find them exciting. Life just wouldn't be complete without your regular thrills and highs. Wild, outrageous, extraordinary, bizarre, and out of this world -- put them together and what have you got? Adrenaline-junkie you! Take more quizzes like this on Candymag.com
Thursday, October 02, 2008
coffee blogthings
I thought of changing today's post to this because the original post seemed too long. And I thought I may have also bored you to death with. Anyway, I took these test the same day I took the test I have in the original post.
These test were taken a few weeks back during a very boooring day in the office. There was very low low low call volume and so there. Thanks so much to mara I had myself things to do.
And by the way, I'm saving the other blogthings test results for future posts. I may still be able to make more meaningful posts to it.
Anyway, here goes:
These test were taken a few weeks back during a very boooring day in the office. There was very low low low call volume and so there. Thanks so much to mara I had myself things to do.
And by the way, I'm saving the other blogthings test results for future posts. I may still be able to make more meaningful posts to it.
Anyway, here goes:
What Kind of Coffee Girl Are You?
You Are a Cappuccino
You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new.
However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like.
You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation.
You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please.
What Kind of Coffee Are You?
You Are a Frappacino
At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern
At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent
You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet
Your caffeine addiction level: low
What Does Your Latte Say About You?
What Your Latte Says About You
You don't treat yourself very often. You find that indulging doesn't jibe with your very disciplined life.
You can be quite silly at times, but you know when to buckle down and be serious.
Intense and energetic, you aren't completely happy unless you are bouncing off the walls.
You're addicted to caffeine. There's no denying it.
You are responsible, mature, and truly an adult. You're occasionally playful, but you find it hard to be carefree.
You are expressive and friendly, but you are never pushy.
What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?
Caffe Vanilla Frappuccino
Smooth and sweet, you fit in to almost any crowd. No one would suspect you of being a coffee tweaker!
What Kind of Tea Are You?
You Are Black Tea
You have a bold personality. You're not afraid of simply being yourself.
You have the courage to speak the truth. You are fearless in your actions.
You come off as a bit intimidating and unapproachable. Only confident people are attracted to you.
You don't try to scare off anyone. You're just an intense person!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
deconstruction
please excuse all the clutter...i'm still on the process of giving my blog a total make-over. too bad i messed it up..
=(
i tried using the updated templates but i keep on seeing this --->
-- the wrench icon.. it's everywhere in the blog when you use the updated templates... it just annoys me.. hehehe...i'm still fixing this clutter though...
it would take me days to change this... anyway, just keep on hopping by!
and thanks so much for visiting!
cheers!
Monday, September 22, 2008
whiten up
we were asked to go on coaching status again due to low call volume..
i kinda got a little information overload after reading tutorials online so i thought of viewing my blog again and again... read old posts.. and decided to hop from one blog to another...
i just realized though... that i have been so selfish and got so consumed of my "issues" (whatever. i know i'm still suffering) that i was not able to recognize the good things that have been happening to me.. i cannot say just for lately but i think a bit then..
i have analyzed that after reading posts from other blogs. on how they marvel on what life has given them, through ups and lows.. but more on the good times..
earlier, i have been browsing my blog. just reminiscing my not so distant past... and there was this dim inkling inside my head saying: "i need to grow up. i need to grow up! i have to grow up!"
i guess the root of my very discontented state is my failure to see how i am changing from day to day with all the troubles and lucks i have been experiencing, especially after i finally left the comfort of my home and settled on my own in the big city, to which i should be so joyful about.
just this week, a thought of wanting to heal myself popped-out of my delirious mind..
i do mean it. i want to get healed. i know it would still take time, but i am willing to wait.
i knew that from the very start, i have been refusing to accept the pain.. i did not give myself enough time to sulk, whine, scream (if i need to), about the pain the was caused..
time is ticking. and there's no more time for me to be like this. i don't want to bluff anymore. i need to be real. i need to start.. i badly needed to..
so, this thought of changing the appearance of my blog sprang. i need to lighten-up. i want to change.
i want to become better..
hopefully i'll become soon.. *winks*
p.s reminds me of what my mom told me. she said she saw her belly glowed yellow aura while still pregnant with me..
i kinda got a little information overload after reading tutorials online so i thought of viewing my blog again and again... read old posts.. and decided to hop from one blog to another...
i just realized though... that i have been so selfish and got so consumed of my "issues" (whatever. i know i'm still suffering) that i was not able to recognize the good things that have been happening to me.. i cannot say just for lately but i think a bit then..
i have analyzed that after reading posts from other blogs. on how they marvel on what life has given them, through ups and lows.. but more on the good times..
earlier, i have been browsing my blog. just reminiscing my not so distant past... and there was this dim inkling inside my head saying: "i need to grow up. i need to grow up! i have to grow up!"
i guess the root of my very discontented state is my failure to see how i am changing from day to day with all the troubles and lucks i have been experiencing, especially after i finally left the comfort of my home and settled on my own in the big city, to which i should be so joyful about.
just this week, a thought of wanting to heal myself popped-out of my delirious mind..
i do mean it. i want to get healed. i know it would still take time, but i am willing to wait.
i knew that from the very start, i have been refusing to accept the pain.. i did not give myself enough time to sulk, whine, scream (if i need to), about the pain the was caused..
time is ticking. and there's no more time for me to be like this. i don't want to bluff anymore. i need to be real. i need to start.. i badly needed to..
so, this thought of changing the appearance of my blog sprang. i need to lighten-up. i want to change.
i want to become better..
hopefully i'll become soon.. *winks*
p.s reminds me of what my mom told me. she said she saw her belly glowed yellow aura while still pregnant with me..
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
mac arthur
congratulate me!
finally i was able to read this book.. (round of applause please)
ang libro sa mga adik.. saklap na panghitabo..
*sigh*
Makes me think I'b be like Voltron and get my head cut-off.. aw..
reminds me of my lesson in Sociology of Deviant Behavior.. the victims and victimizers...
anyway, i don't know what i'm blabbing about in here.. all i know is that in some ways i am like them.. putting myself inside a mess that can't be undone.. worse.. i am aware of what i am doing.. though thinking that i am a victim of the worse circumstances that came to my life... *sigh*
or shall i say, "the circumstance" that became "me"
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
of pain and a child poet
i found this poem from the internet during avail time (meaning idle time, or there are no calls) in the office... i don't know how you would see this poem.. *smiles*
Ruhe
Pain isn’t meant to be held in your arms;
Not meant to turn your palms red with cuts;
Not meant to puncture your heart.
And yet you let pain live within you. . .
I cannot forever be your medicine -I am the morphine.
Not the cure.
Let your wounds heal. Let the hurt escape.
You must rest.
Bearing your life in a plastic bag that has a tear -
It could leak any second.
And yet, we can find no thread to mend it.
I will not let you spill onto the pavement.
But sometimes I feel my fingers slipping.
And wonder if I’ve grown too tired to care.
Replace your broken boards. Let the hurt escape.
You must rest.
Every ticking second is precious;
Every moment and memory is alive.
Your life, the one I know you cannot love or hate, is fading
And brightening, surging and flickering.
But what will I do when the blackout comes?
Recharge yourself. Let the hurt escape.
You must rest.
By Alexander, 10th grade
submitted to the Edgar Allan Poe exercise at Totally Optional Prompts
Ruhe
Pain isn’t meant to be held in your arms;
Not meant to turn your palms red with cuts;
Not meant to puncture your heart.
And yet you let pain live within you. . .
I cannot forever be your medicine -I am the morphine.
Not the cure.
Let your wounds heal. Let the hurt escape.
You must rest.
Bearing your life in a plastic bag that has a tear -
It could leak any second.
And yet, we can find no thread to mend it.
I will not let you spill onto the pavement.
But sometimes I feel my fingers slipping.
And wonder if I’ve grown too tired to care.
Replace your broken boards. Let the hurt escape.
You must rest.
Every ticking second is precious;
Every moment and memory is alive.
Your life, the one I know you cannot love or hate, is fading
And brightening, surging and flickering.
But what will I do when the blackout comes?
Recharge yourself. Let the hurt escape.
You must rest.
By Alexander, 10th grade
submitted to the Edgar Allan Poe exercise at Totally Optional Prompts
Monday, August 25, 2008
thought-em pole
August 23, 2008
Saturday, 10:35 PM
Thanks to the long avail time, I am able to hop from one blog to another. And was able to write quite a lot of my thoughts...
----
It's another day in the office. *sigh*
It's freezing cold and I'm wearing a sweater with plunging neckline which shows off the mole in my chest. And ironically I brought with me my spill-proof mug, in it is water and ice tubes..
----
Blogs I've hopped to and fro:
*Bluemoon shluemoon
*Pointing Out Pointlessness
*Freshness Factor Five Thousand
*I Live, I Love, I am Me
--blogs listed in the bluemoon's list of reklamador, who are:
* belle
* andoy
* axon
* axon_3d
* jedi
* elan
* h3adrush
* tambok
* daos
* mara
* earnest
----
Daily astrology: August 23, 2008
:: in iGoogle ::
Yours is a battle between extremes today. On one hand you want some action; you have so much going on that your excitement can turn to high anxiety. On the other hand, a meager attempt at having some peace and quiet could, surprisingly, work so well that you feel rather isolated in your reclusion. For now, don't worry about making a choice; just see where the tides carry you.
:: in Yahoo ::
If you're just getting back into a relationship that has been on hold or on the backburner, today you might start to wonder if going back was the right decision. Things have changed a lot more than you realized, and it might feel like you two might not make it. But you should give this thing some more time. It's way too soon to make such a drastic decision. Have a talk with the other person involved and see what they think. You're probably on the same page.
Daily Flirt:
A dear friend has a few words of advice for you -- and it's time to really listen! You've got to take it pretty seriously, even if you don't really believe it, because things need to change soon.
Daily Couples:
It's tempting to brush those nagging issues aside, but you'll have to face them eventually. Why not start now? Once you start the conversation with your honey, you'll find it's not so bad.
Tomorrow's Astrology forecast: for August 24
Interacting with strangers will be lots of fun today -- like it or not, you are going to be giving off a ton of totally flirtatious energy, which will be causing people to smile at you. Watch out for eye contact that lingers just a bit longer than it needs to! If you are on the market, this could be a fabulous day for you -- get some digits and add some bulk to your little black book. But if you're taken, you still enjoy the harmless-but-fun energy!
Daily Flirt:
Your intellect is incredibly alive today -- and it's far more attractive than you'd think! People are looking to you for answers, ideas and good times, and you don't disappoint at all.
Daily Couples:
Something's gotten into you today -- you can't stop flirting with your honey! Your actions have a strong effect on them, and they love every minute of it. Tonight is bound to be one you won't soon forget.
---
"where's my rubix cube?"
"tee el!"
my irony list
#1
I've been nagging Bok to quit smoking but I hate it when he doesn't let me smoke.
#2
I said I wanted to lose weight but have been eating a lot these days. Say twice in the office and before going to bed..
#3
I'm depressed of having not been able to get the room where I've planned to move to next week but haven't got the money to pay for the rent.
#4
I said I don't like to work as a call center agent anymore but still landed with the same job after a few months of bumming.
#5
I told Bok that it's OK for me if he'll go out with his new found friends but I'm on the verge of crying while saying this.
#6
We always say that: manimba mi sa Sto. Nino (means to attend the Holy Eucharist) but have been just church visiting.
#7
I've been crying everynight now due to a lot of frustrations. But when I was confronted to tell what these are, I couldn't think of any..
...I'm quite an ironic person.. and these are just some of my ironies...
I've been nagging Bok to quit smoking but I hate it when he doesn't let me smoke.
#2
I said I wanted to lose weight but have been eating a lot these days. Say twice in the office and before going to bed..
#3
I'm depressed of having not been able to get the room where I've planned to move to next week but haven't got the money to pay for the rent.
#4
I said I don't like to work as a call center agent anymore but still landed with the same job after a few months of bumming.
#5
I told Bok that it's OK for me if he'll go out with his new found friends but I'm on the verge of crying while saying this.
#6
We always say that: manimba mi sa Sto. Nino (means to attend the Holy Eucharist) but have been just church visiting.
#7
I've been crying everynight now due to a lot of frustrations. But when I was confronted to tell what these are, I couldn't think of any..
...I'm quite an ironic person.. and these are just some of my ironies...
August 23, 2008
Saturday, 09:23 PM
Saturday, 09:23 PM
Astrology forecast for Aug 22
Daily Horoscope for Gemini
You might feel so at ease with what's happening that you slip into unconsciousness, only to suddenly wake up as your mind lights up with a brilliant thought. You may not know what you want, but you are sure that you want something beyond your current situation. Once you realize how bored you are, then you are capable of turning your life upside down so you can at least try to have some fun.
By Rick Levine
Friday, August 22, 2008
You might feel so at ease with what's happening that you slip into unconsciousness, only to suddenly wake up as your mind lights up with a brilliant thought. You may not know what you want, but you are sure that you want something beyond your current situation. Once you realize how bored you are, then you are capable of turning your life upside down so you can at least try to have some fun.
By Rick Levine
Friday, August 22, 2008
Home-lone
August 22, 2008
Friday, 05:13 PM
I don't know where my soul is,
I don't know where my home is.."
--- Nelly Furtado
I'm feeling depressed right now. I feel so homeless.. not that I am homeless though.. It's just that I've been planning to move (again) to another place next week.. which is supposedly better than my recent crib.. I was already looking forward for it.. next week... a new home.. a nicer one...
But then last night my officemate told me that someone already got the place just early yesterday...
It broke my heart.
I feel so low.. *sigh*
I would have wanted that place.. I still haven't got the chance to see it but as per Kitten's description.. It's perfect! =C
It's just a pad.. like a big room.. not that big though.. but big enough for me... it has it's own bath/toilet... It's located in the heart of the city... The neighborhood is fine.. It only costs 3,500 Php a month (excluding water and electricity)...
huhuhu...
My beau kept on telling me that maybe that place wasn't meant for me...
I tried to comfort myself too.. but whenever I think about it.. it made me feel lonely..
It sucks!
Yeah, I'm free as a bird.. and yeah... I don't know where to find that place I can call my home..
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Hello Word!!!
I am still alive (if this is what you call this) and kicking... and breathing... air.. and carbon dioxide.. and smoke.. and fart...
I am still quite homeless (just quite)... a bit of deranged (mentally).. alienated (in a lot of ways).. however, coping with these changes with acceptance... (hmmm)
I kinda miss my stuff... my art materials.. (left them in the "pink room")... I am not completely settled that's why I didn't bring them with me the day I left the pink room...
Anyway... I haven't heard anything from the rest of the world... and the rest of the world haven't heard anything from me... yeah.. haha... I just remembered!
Someone-I-once-knew told me that the reason I felt alienated or left by the people whom I considered my friends.. is BECAUSE.. of the fact that I am hanging out with a NEW CROWD... hmmmn... I didn't believe that person though... But I respect that person's idea...
I don't even have a crowd... and never even had one..
Well.. anyway... I feel like crap.. just so you know... not of something that you thought I might have done.. But with a lot of things that I just can't speak out... And remember... I know they're lurking somewhere in my delirious mind though... they're like malware.. they keep on popping-out from time to time... and they seem to increase in number...
*sigh* I f only my brain is like a friggin' computer hard disk which I can scan for errors and threats.. and clean-up to remove excess information/baggage... or just re-format when everything is really way out of hand... grrr...
I don't feel like I am going to live long enough to tell my crappy tale.. But that's fine.. doesn't matter...
Nothing matters anymore.. nothing...
I talk like I am really losing.. or you might think I AM JUST BEING PATHETIC... That's how you think.. the hell I care...
grr.. now I think I am...
Anyway... I really just need to write something out...
Really.. Just wanna say hello... (^^)/
Because I can't keep on puking.. or trying to puke.. because we can't puke words.. only alcohol and excess food digested in our stomach..
Anyway...
HELLO!
I am still quite homeless (just quite)... a bit of deranged (mentally).. alienated (in a lot of ways).. however, coping with these changes with acceptance... (hmmm)
I kinda miss my stuff... my art materials.. (left them in the "pink room")... I am not completely settled that's why I didn't bring them with me the day I left the pink room...
Anyway... I haven't heard anything from the rest of the world... and the rest of the world haven't heard anything from me... yeah.. haha... I just remembered!
Someone-I-once-knew told me that the reason I felt alienated or left by the people whom I considered my friends.. is BECAUSE.. of the fact that I am hanging out with a NEW CROWD... hmmmn... I didn't believe that person though... But I respect that person's idea...
I don't even have a crowd... and never even had one..
Well.. anyway... I feel like crap.. just so you know... not of something that you thought I might have done.. But with a lot of things that I just can't speak out... And remember... I know they're lurking somewhere in my delirious mind though... they're like malware.. they keep on popping-out from time to time... and they seem to increase in number...
*sigh* I f only my brain is like a friggin' computer hard disk which I can scan for errors and threats.. and clean-up to remove excess information/baggage... or just re-format when everything is really way out of hand... grrr...
I don't feel like I am going to live long enough to tell my crappy tale.. But that's fine.. doesn't matter...
Nothing matters anymore.. nothing...
I talk like I am really losing.. or you might think I AM JUST BEING PATHETIC... That's how you think.. the hell I care...
grr.. now I think I am...
Anyway... I really just need to write something out...
Really.. Just wanna say hello... (^^)/
Because I can't keep on puking.. or trying to puke.. because we can't puke words.. only alcohol and excess food digested in our stomach..
Anyway...
HELLO!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
SEVEN
was tagged by the bluemoon..
1. wrath:
who did you last get angry with?
:: cokaliong shipping lines
who did you last get pissed off with?
:: hehe... alex
who was the last person who got really angry at you?
:: alex.. i think so..
or can you let them go easily?
:: i guess so.. haha! depends!
2. sloth:
what is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?
:: stretching.. hehe.. play with my keyboard.. play rpg's... =( talk to Balto (our dog)
what's the latest you've ever woken up?
:: 9 a.m, as far as i can remember...
who have you been meaning to contact, but haven't?
:: my friend sidney..
how many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
:: 0 times.. no need for an alarm clock today.. I'm in my hometown..
3. gluttony:
meat eater?
:: yeah.. but i prefer veggies..
what is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting, outing or event?
:: hmmnn... i don't count.. =P
have you ever used a professional diet company?
:: nope..
4. lust:
how many people have seen you completely naked
:: two
ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation
:: uhuh! there were countless moments..
what's your fave part of the body?
:: men: chest and collar bone
:: women: i guess the boobs.. haha..
have you ever made a proposition with a prostitute?
:: never tried
5. greed:
if you had $1 million, what would you do with it
:: pay debts.. and travel..
you rather be rich, or famous?
:: rich
6. pride:
what is the one thing that you've done that you're most proud of?
:: being able to build my own business at the age of 16
one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
:: got a job after bumming! haha!
what would you like to accomplish in your life?
:: there actually are a lot.. hehe.. i would like to travel, be it here or abroad... build mamang a kitchen.. maybe, finish another degree... (=
what did you do today that you're proud of?
:: told myself that i will start saving on my first pay.. and pay my debts..
7. envy:
if you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
:: someone better: taller version of me, someone who can sing better, someone who can groove a little
have you ever wished you had a different physical feature?
:: only at certain moments
1. wrath:
who did you last get angry with?
:: cokaliong shipping lines
who did you last get pissed off with?
:: hehe... alex
who was the last person who got really angry at you?
:: alex.. i think so..
or can you let them go easily?
:: i guess so.. haha! depends!
2. sloth:
what is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?
:: stretching.. hehe.. play with my keyboard.. play rpg's... =( talk to Balto (our dog)
what's the latest you've ever woken up?
:: 9 a.m, as far as i can remember...
who have you been meaning to contact, but haven't?
:: my friend sidney..
how many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
:: 0 times.. no need for an alarm clock today.. I'm in my hometown..
3. gluttony:
meat eater?
:: yeah.. but i prefer veggies..
what is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting, outing or event?
:: hmmnn... i don't count.. =P
have you ever used a professional diet company?
:: nope..
4. lust:
how many people have seen you completely naked
:: two
ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation
:: uhuh! there were countless moments..
what's your fave part of the body?
:: men: chest and collar bone
:: women: i guess the boobs.. haha..
have you ever made a proposition with a prostitute?
:: never tried
5. greed:
if you had $1 million, what would you do with it
:: pay debts.. and travel..
you rather be rich, or famous?
:: rich
6. pride:
what is the one thing that you've done that you're most proud of?
:: being able to build my own business at the age of 16
one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
:: got a job after bumming! haha!
what would you like to accomplish in your life?
:: there actually are a lot.. hehe.. i would like to travel, be it here or abroad... build mamang a kitchen.. maybe, finish another degree... (=
what did you do today that you're proud of?
:: told myself that i will start saving on my first pay.. and pay my debts..
7. envy:
if you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
:: someone better: taller version of me, someone who can sing better, someone who can groove a little
have you ever wished you had a different physical feature?
:: only at certain moments
Monday, May 19, 2008
May 19 Post
It's May 19. Monday. I'm in my hometown right now... in Iligan, still alive and kicking. I'm writing this post at Asia GM.. a place which transported me 4 years ago... (= where it all started.. Where "clerihew" was born...
I'm just happy I'm back in this place.. I'm not expecting anything from my past.. especially from four years ago... I know I was happy then... But right now.. I'm happy that I'm slowly learning to trust... Slowly knowing myself again... I'm thankful.. I am still blessed after all.. We all are.. I accept what happend and I'm willing to accept what else would come... I just hope I'll be a lot stronger after all the lessons I have learned.. I'm still learning though.. It's okay.. It really pays to be a little patient sometimes...
I'm just happy I'm back in this place.. I'm not expecting anything from my past.. especially from four years ago... I know I was happy then... But right now.. I'm happy that I'm slowly learning to trust... Slowly knowing myself again... I'm thankful.. I am still blessed after all.. We all are.. I accept what happend and I'm willing to accept what else would come... I just hope I'll be a lot stronger after all the lessons I have learned.. I'm still learning though.. It's okay.. It really pays to be a little patient sometimes...
Anyway, today is my little sister's debut.. And tomorrow I'm off for the big city again.. Hopefully, someone is waiting there for me.. to hold me.. through heat and the rain.. (=
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Just wanna take this time to post my horoscope for today:
You'll spend much energy in order to solve problems that have been shelved, but will sometimes be tempted to postpone them. Make an effort to do some physical exercise every day. In your work, you'll achieve certain ambitions dear to your heart. The time will be well chosen to explore what you always want to know. Risks of quarrel with an in-law or a close friend.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Growth?
A friend sent me this message:
"I just cherish growth so much that I couldn't stand something languish."
... a sad fact... a very sad fact... and if so... I wouldn't want to grow....
... I beg not to grow...
Friday, March 14, 2008
Flashy Words
Shihan from the Def Poetry Jam
I could just relate to this poem.... please listen to it...
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Thud Thud
*thud*
The sound of my heart.. my heartbeat... good thing it is still here... and I thought I lost it.. Maybe it was just silenced... Or numb... Because as you can see... (I really don't want to shout this out to the world...) my 4 year fairytale-like relationship with my beau has halted.. Call me in denial.. (duh..)
But anyway... it's nice to hear or feel that "thud" sound again... Right now.. I am editing my resume... and after a couple of minutes I'll be attending a job interview... so.. it's nice to hear "the thud"...
haha! I am nervous.. awww...
...Guess what... I am hoping that it isn't the last time I'll hear and feel that "thud" sound... I really am still thinking that this is just another "lapse" of some sort... and before I'll know it the "thudding" continues...
..because really... my heart is disconnected to my brain.. and I really don't know what the hell I am doing with my life... I just hope that this unfaithful fate will connect and tangle my heart and brain for once...
The sound of my heart.. my heartbeat... good thing it is still here... and I thought I lost it.. Maybe it was just silenced... Or numb... Because as you can see... (I really don't want to shout this out to the world...) my 4 year fairytale-like relationship with my beau has halted.. Call me in denial.. (duh..)
But anyway... it's nice to hear or feel that "thud" sound again... Right now.. I am editing my resume... and after a couple of minutes I'll be attending a job interview... so.. it's nice to hear "the thud"...
haha! I am nervous.. awww...
...Guess what... I am hoping that it isn't the last time I'll hear and feel that "thud" sound... I really am still thinking that this is just another "lapse" of some sort... and before I'll know it the "thudding" continues...
..because really... my heart is disconnected to my brain.. and I really don't know what the hell I am doing with my life... I just hope that this unfaithful fate will connect and tangle my heart and brain for once...
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Huntress
Name : Luna Moonfang
A.K.A: The Moon Rider
This is Luna... my favorite hero in DotA.. Anyway.. it's been so long.. and now I am back..
Back to playing DotA.. Back to explore the world.. Back to standing alone... Umm.. Back to hunting.. Hunting a job.. hehehe.. Oh well.. I feel like a huntress...
I actually need to get a job. Hehehe.. I needed a break and there I had it.. Right now I am sick... I have dripping nose.. a fever.. and also have an aching throat and heart...
This will be a new beginning... well... I am a huntress and I'll cut to pieces those who will stand in my way...
I am going to reach my dreams...
Saturday, March 01, 2008
"The" February
My February went by like a heartbeat...
My heart must've been skipping or have pounded too hard then...
It started with the sudden opportunity to move to a new apartment... new place.. adjustments.. new perspective..
Then came the gush of impulse.. absentism from work.. a little booze... tried a puff... and more of staring to the horizon moments..
My heart must've been skipping or have pounded too hard then...
It started with the sudden opportunity to move to a new apartment... new place.. adjustments.. new perspective..
Then came the gush of impulse.. absentism from work.. a little booze... tried a puff... and more of staring to the horizon moments..
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Evolution
I feel like crap tonight..
Is this because I felt bloated after having dinner with my boyfriend’s family who just arrived from Iligan?
Or is it with the bad coffee I had had before dinner? (which I called coffee nightmare)
Lack of sleep?
Am I just nostalgic because my boyfriend’s parents are here?
Is it with the comments left in my beau’s friendster account?
…
Guess what? I feel jealous.. I want to cry… I want to melt… I kinda don’t want to work tonight…
What’s wrong with me???
…
Earlier.. had this conversation with Lua.. (my new roommate…).. Oh well.. She mentioned that we graduated in college a year ago.. *bell rings* Reality check! That was a year ago… We are getting older…
I am getting older.. I am changing.. without me noticing it.. maybe because I’m too busy drifting in my memories… of my very good ol’ past…
I no longer get hypnotized with the word “dota”… oh well.. is it because my shop isn’t here or is it also because my ultimate playmate isn’t also here..?
I dunno.. my tastebuds changed.. I already thirst for coffee, before it was just milk or tea… I’m also becoming picky with the books I read.. and some films that I watch…The things I’m thinking…
The heck! I’m morphing!!!
I hope I’ll turn into a butterfly.. not into a moth…
Is this because I felt bloated after having dinner with my boyfriend’s family who just arrived from Iligan?
Or is it with the bad coffee I had had before dinner? (which I called coffee nightmare)
Lack of sleep?
Am I just nostalgic because my boyfriend’s parents are here?
Is it with the comments left in my beau’s friendster account?
…
Guess what? I feel jealous.. I want to cry… I want to melt… I kinda don’t want to work tonight…
What’s wrong with me???
…
Earlier.. had this conversation with Lua.. (my new roommate…).. Oh well.. She mentioned that we graduated in college a year ago.. *bell rings* Reality check! That was a year ago… We are getting older…
I am getting older.. I am changing.. without me noticing it.. maybe because I’m too busy drifting in my memories… of my very good ol’ past…
I no longer get hypnotized with the word “dota”… oh well.. is it because my shop isn’t here or is it also because my ultimate playmate isn’t also here..?
I dunno.. my tastebuds changed.. I already thirst for coffee, before it was just milk or tea… I’m also becoming picky with the books I read.. and some films that I watch…The things I’m thinking…
The heck! I’m morphing!!!
I hope I’ll turn into a butterfly.. not into a moth…
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Indulgence
Oh ye shall mark this day in all the history in my life here in Cebu as the first time I have ever really really indulged…
Today I stayed inside my room the whole day, like from dawn til dusk (well… that’s not new for me though).. But I stayed in bed for almost the whole day watched some movies and got a load of junk food.. ugh! Very good for the bulging belly..
Anyway…
I started with finishing the remaining Death Note episodes that I haven’t watched.. Well… don’t ask me how I felt after watching.. Coz I felt sooo evil.. oh well.. there I said it…
I did Lua a favor and got my feet muddy which made me to stay home… By the way, the weather was really good... it was raining outside… so I decided to stay put.. and watch movies instead.. I watched Sister Act I and Sister Act II.. because unfortunately I was still not able to watch these movies as far as I can remember…
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Siete
Oh well.. I was tagged by lua... hmm... last december i guess... well congratulate me 'coz i finally got to my senses (a bit)..
And oh! I don't really like to reveal myself.. but anyway here are seven facts about me:
1. i hate cockroaches (big or small, dark colored or not, flyers or non-flyers)
2. i am soo ironic
3. i collect keyholders and any memorabilias (be it a fallen leaf, pebbles, seashells)
4. i love animals
5. i don't like too much sweets
6. i have very high pain resistance
7. i had a very traumatizing singing experience.. =(
There. I'm done. Now I'm tagging the caterpillar, johnnski, alo, sensei.. and... trickyboy... too bad can't complete the list..
Well.. here are the rules:
1. Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2. Pick 10 others you would like to get to know better.
3. Let them know you've tagged them by leaving a comment on their blog.
4. And don't forget to give them the rules.
And oh! I don't really like to reveal myself.. but anyway here are seven facts about me:
1. i hate cockroaches (big or small, dark colored or not, flyers or non-flyers)
2. i am soo ironic
3. i collect keyholders and any memorabilias (be it a fallen leaf, pebbles, seashells)
4. i love animals
5. i don't like too much sweets
6. i have very high pain resistance
7. i had a very traumatizing singing experience.. =(
There. I'm done. Now I'm tagging the caterpillar, johnnski, alo, sensei.. and... trickyboy... too bad can't complete the list..
Well.. here are the rules:
1. Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2. Pick 10 others you would like to get to know better.
3. Let them know you've tagged them by leaving a comment on their blog.
4. And don't forget to give them the rules.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
2008
Hi.. Happy new year..
It's already more than a week after the birth of 2008 and I still haven't written my resolution and still haven't found my soul... =(
I feel sorry for myself for not being able to comprehend what other people say or do to me..
Just now, I feel so dumb..
I actually went home to my hometown during Christmas. I was happy to having been able to spend it with my family.. I was able to meet some old friends.. Though something was still missing...
I came back to where I am (for work purposes though) and spent new year here but I don't know.. Some people wouldn't just leave me as I am.. *sigh*
I wanted to talk to people but they seem to make me more and more confused.
At times I just wish that I just suddenly disappear. But that's not the way it goes..
!@#$%^&*
I just need wisdom!!!!
help... please...
It's already more than a week after the birth of 2008 and I still haven't written my resolution and still haven't found my soul... =(
I feel sorry for myself for not being able to comprehend what other people say or do to me..
Just now, I feel so dumb..
I actually went home to my hometown during Christmas. I was happy to having been able to spend it with my family.. I was able to meet some old friends.. Though something was still missing...
I came back to where I am (for work purposes though) and spent new year here but I don't know.. Some people wouldn't just leave me as I am.. *sigh*
I wanted to talk to people but they seem to make me more and more confused.
At times I just wish that I just suddenly disappear. But that's not the way it goes..
!@#$%^&*
I just need wisdom!!!!
help... please...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
